Think wedding etiquette consists of stuffy, outdated rules? Think again! Just as wedding styles have evolved, wedding etiquette has also modernized! Although specific "rules" have been tossed out with the bouquet, wedding etiquette is just as important today as it was during your parents' and grandparents' generations. After all, the purpose of wedding etiquette is to make everyone - the couple, and their family and guests - feel comfortable and welcome, and that certainly never goes out of style!
Here are 10 modern wedding etiquette mistakes you might not know you're making!
Mistake #1: Announcing your engagement on social media before telling family and close friends.
Out of love and respect for your family and close friends, it's important to let them know of your engagement before letting the rest of the world know. They might be hurt or offended if an acquaintance - who found out before - breaks the news before you do. Let your family and close friends hear the news from you first - they'll feel special (and rightly so!).
Mistake #2: Inviting guests to your engagement party who are not invited to the wedding.
If a guest is invited to an engagement party, they'll expect to be invited to the wedding. To avoid any hurt or disappointments, keep your engagement party guest list small and intimate, and include only close friends and family who you are certain you want to invite to the wedding.
Mistake #3: Inviting guests to your bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding.
With co-ed showers becoming popular, it's still important that guests who are invited to the shower are also invited to the wedding. The only exception to this rule is if the shower is thrown by co-workers at an office.
Mistake #4: Registering for non-household items at local boutiques.
To make gift giving easy for your guests, make sure to register at a few national chains so that guests can easily visit the store or go online and order. Also, it's considered tacky to register for items that don't pertain to starting a "home" together. These include personal items such as jewelry or sports equipment.
#5: Asking for money in lieu of gifts.
It's never appropriate to directly ask for money instead of gifts. Guests should have the option of providing money or gifts, but it should never be forced or even suggested. Most people would consider this extremely tacky. Registry information should only state the stores in which the couple is registered, and should not be included on the wedding invitation. Appropriate places would be a shower invitation or wedding website.
#6: Relying too heavily on a wedding website.
Wedding websites are great - they're now easier than ever to set up, and provide much more room for additional information that won't fit on the invitation, not to mention the cute pictures and stories! However, don't make the wedding website the only way guests can find important information or RSVP. Some older guests may not be tech savvy. Make sure to include all the necessary information - date, time, and address for both the ceremony and reception, as well as a pre-stamped RSVP card and envelope - inside the paper invitation.
#7: Thinking that there has to be an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
This was never an etiquette "rule" to begin with, but so many couples stress over this! It's perfectly fine to have more attendants on the bride or groom's side. One groomsmen could walk two bridesmaids down the aisle, or vice versa!
#8: Having a long break between the ceremony and the reception.
You want your guests to feel comfortable, and having a long break between the ceremony and reception leaves guests hungry and with nothing to do or nowhere to go. If you must have a long break due to scheduling for religious ceremonies, make sure your guests have a designated place to go where food and seating will be provided.
#9: Not keeping your guests' comfort top of mind.
While planning the timeline and details of your wedding, put yourself in your guests' shoes. If the wedding is outdoors, will heat or insects be an issue? Will guests have access to bottles of water if necessary? Where will the guests go while you're taking pictures? Will the caterer accommodate dietary restrictions? It's a lot to think about, but these little things will make a huge impact on how your guests remember your special day.
#10: Forgetting to speak with every guest.
Your guests have travelled near and far, have gotten dressed up, and have spent money on a gift - all for you! It is so important to speak with every guest on your wedding day. This can be hard, especially at larger weddings, but a receiving line will do the trick! Consider taking pictures before the ceremony or cocktail hour to leave that time open for a receiving line.
Keep these etiquette tips in mind, and your wedding day is sure to be one that guests remember (in a good way!) for years. For more etiquette tips, check out www.MaggieOldham.com, and follow Maggie Oldham, Modern Etiquette Coach on Instagram at @ModernEtiquetteCoach.